Are you still here???

Hey you!

Yes you!

If you are still here reading this then you are missing out on all the goodies at the NEW PICKLEBUMS BLOG!

You've already missed me confessing here, a delicious recipe, and my obsession with being organised.... not to mention other good stuff.

So ditch this place, change all your links and get your bums over there!

Ok it's time....

If I don't do it now I will never do it! Enough playing already... come on over to the new blog
www.picklebums.com and say hello!

I still have a bit of playing around to do.. still things need adding and fixing but it works and that is the main thing, plenty of time to keep tinkering once everyone is over there!

This blog will remain up indefinitely (I have dreams of editing it and making it into a book!) but majority of the old posts have migrated semi ok to the new blog too. I'll post here ever now and the to remind any stragglers that we have moved.. but from now on you'll find me over at picklebums.com - so change your links and feed readers please!

tinker tinker...

For anyone who doesn't already know, I am in the process of a blog-change. It's kind of like a sea-change or a tree-change except I am not moving my life from the city to the sea or the bush, I am moving my blog to it's own domain and a hosted wordpress platform.

I am sure this is thrilling to a few of you and boring most of you to tears, especially since over the last few weeks my actual blog posting has been few and far between while I have been tinkering and tweaking the look of the new blog. As is typical of me I have tried 7 different themes and redesigned the blog entirely about three times, but I do believe I may actually stick with this final design long enough to actually go live!

I still have a few bits and pieces to do before I am open for business, and a whole heap of little loose ends that I hope to slowly tie up over the next few months, but with luck in the next day or two I will be asking you all to change your book marks and move on over to my fancy new digs.

So this is just an explanation of my absence (since even my mother asked me today "aren't you blogging anymore!?!?") and a little 'heads up' for you all... I am almost ready!

Last Minute Me!

Sometimes my life is like a bad sit com. One of the really cheesy types where you know what pathetically horrible fate is going to befall the characters before it happens, it is that predictable, but you still laugh, half heatedly, anyway ....

Today was Mickey's funeral. 10:30am right over the other side of the city - about an hour and 15 minutes from our place so I needed to be up early and organised enough to pick up sandwiches from my parents place and still make it in time. The Baldy Boy was taking his car super super early to pick up family so I was on my own.

I was doing great...everyone up, dressed and in the car ready to go by 8:30. We had plenty of time. Off we go.... or not... the car won't start, dead battery. Oopps... we should have thought about that as it's an ongoing thing with the big white bus. We once left a light on and it drained the battery so it doesn't hold charge very well any more... it is fine as long as I drive the car every day or two but it hasn't been driven in the last week, so I wasn't surprised to find it dead. Since the baldy boy had already left... with the jumper leads... and since our neighbor across the road had also already gone to work I had to call the RACV and wait 30 minutes for a really lovely man to come out and jump start the car before we headed off.

Ok no probs... I called my Mum to organise her to drop off the food, got in contact with the Baldy Boy to say we might be cutting it fine but we'd be there. Jumped in the car and we were off still with plenty of time.... or not.

We got as far as Sunbury and got held up by two fire engines, two ambulances and numerous police cars. Not sure what was going on but after a quick detour around whatever it was we were still making ok time.

Then the petrol light came on.. bugger! I stopped for petrol, calculating in my head how long it would take me to get there and I still thought we'd probably scrape it in.... wrong!

For a while we were doing great. Bizzy was awesome, trying to placate the screaming Muski in the back seat, sneezing and 'wasabi-ing' at him and offering him the dummy till he fell asleep. The traffic was good the whole way up city link. Coming over the Bolty Bridge I read the sign that said 'accident, right hand lane, westgate off ramp'. Damn... but still maybe I could do the left lane and be ok? Nope.. traffic was banking back well before the off ramp... executive decision made, I saw a gap and took it deciding on the beach route, which added time to our trip but not as much as being stuck in the traffic jam.

By the time we made Nepean highway I knew we were never going to make it by 10:30... probably not even by 10:45. We caught every damn red light and got stuck behind every slow driver doing stupid things and even got caught by a train a block from the funeral! Still we made it just as they were starting - thank goodness they were not on time!

I sat there listening to people speak about Mickey and thought to myself that she'd be unimpressed by my comedy of errors trip to her funeral. Mickey would never have let such disorganisation combine to make her late for such an important event. She would not have arrived, flustered, at the last minute, dragging in three half asleep kids. No, she would have been suitably early (though not too early) looking well groomed, calm and on top of things. Though I'd like to think, even despite all of that, she'd still have been pleased to know that her great grandchildren attended her funeral with much enthusiasm.

The girls are very interested in death. Mostly the mechanics of it all. What happens to your body and things like that. They have an odd idea that when you die your bones go to the museum - well not so odd when you consider there are a lot of bones in the museum, but I guess you are only likely to end up there if you are a dinosaur. They have been to several funerals in their short lives but this one was the first where they were old enough and close enough to the deceased to be able to suss out some important facts and ask some important questions.

Like the fact that they put great Nan in a box and why do they do that? That the car has to be long to fit the box in it. That cemeteries are full of flowers and 'fairies' (actually angels but don't argue with two fairy mad four year olds over the difference between small winged beings ok). That they put the box, and the body into the ground and why can't they see her bones if she is dead? Why do they have special strings on the box and oh we get to throw rose petals on the box in the hole, ace!

They were so genuinely interested and in such a loving way that it really made me smile. As they got into the car to go Zoe told me 'fenerals (how she says funerals) are fasNInating (fascinating) Mama!). I guess it is not every one's 'cup of tea' to take small children to a funeral but I am glad my girls have had the experience and that they have been such loving experiences.

I hope Mickey was looking down and smiling at her 'fasNINated' great grandchildren today as well.... and on their flustered, disorganised, last minute mother too!

One Last Day of Change....

Determined not to be left out from our 2007 'Year of Change' New Years Eve sprung one final surprise on us. The Baldy Boy's Nan passed away yesterday afternoon, peacefully at the age of 93.

We all knew her as 'Mickey', though I can't say I knew her very well. It wasn't long after I became a reasonably permanent fixture in the Baldy Boy's family that Mickey began to get very frail and dementia slowly began to take her mind. I have heard many stories about her though. Of how she was a shrewd business woman, investing in the property market and shares and enjoying every minute of it. Of how musical she was, playing the violin with great skill and dedication. Of how fiercely protective she was of her family, demanding nothing but the best....

On this last point I do have some personal experience. I met Mickey for only the second time one Christmas and in between food and chat and presents she managed to corner me, alone, in the kitchen. She wasn't at all backwards in coming forwards and telling me that I needed to marry her grandson or get out of his life. I will admit that at the time I was dumb founded, slightly offended and pretty scared of this pocket rocket of a matriarch!

Oddly enough, despite never having plans to actually get 'married' we ended up doing just that a little over a year later but by then Mickey's mind had started slipping and her recent memory lapsed... so much so that when the Baldy Boy took her out to the movies she had no memory of us being married and would always ask him when he was going to 'find a nice girl and settle down?' even if I was sitting next to him!

Looking back now I admire her fierce and fiery love for her grandson. I hope I can live up to her expectations and love him just as much.

2007 in review

Well I had hoped to be able to do this on a brand spanking new blog - but I am still playing around with all that so you are stuck with me here for at least another week or two. In light of that news and since I will be either dying of heat exhaustion or at my parents chilling out tomorrow I thought I'd do this tonight instead...

2007 - The year of changes

I feel like this past year has been a year of change for our little family... and a year of trying to embrace the change and move forward with it.. sometimes I think we have succeeded other times, not so much!

The start of the year saw the good end of my pregnancy.. the bit that was 'easy' and without any more bad news or surprises. The bit that I simply needed to 'go with the flow' for, and trust that it would all work out. I had moments when I totally fought the flow.. especially in those last few weeks when the flow was too darn slow for my liking, but in the end I had no choice buy to let go and I think that taught me a lot.

The start of the year also saw the girls just being girls... toddlers still in so many ways despite being three. They were on the cusp of so many 'big' things, but just not quite there..

Muski's birth was a turning point for so many things. It marked the middle of the year almost exactly and it felt like a huge shift in our household.. and not just for the obvious reason that we were now a family of five instead of four.

His birth awakened in me a confidence that I never knew I had. I am proud of myself for the way he was born, I am grateful for all the wonderful people who helped us achieve that along the way but most of all I am proud. I still glow with inner pride every time I think about it. It is a great to feel 100% good about something I did. No regrets. No 'I wishes'. Just good. That has been very healing for me.

Of course, aside from me being bloody amazing to birth him, Muski is totally gorgeous too! It is like looking at myself when I look into his eyes... they are my eyes and I feel both so uplifted to be so connected to him and at the same time so sad that I never really had that with the girls. He makes me take time to enjoy him. What else can you do when he looks up at you with his big blue eyes and cheeky grin? Even if he hasn't slept in 6 hours...

The six months since he was born has just flown by. Already he is rolling around the floor, chattering away and making his presence known, and how! He is not an infant any more... he is a chubby, cheeky, giggly, stubborn, cranky, non-sleeping, happy baby!

The girls, my babies... my teeny, tiny, helpless, little babies grew up overnight... almost without me it seems. They walked into the hospital room the morning Muski was born and were suddenly 'big girls'. They even seemed bigger physically that morning, not just more grown up, and it made me want to cry and sing with pride all over again. They love their brother with a passion so strong it
surprises me.

They have grown in so many ways and mastered so many things. The toilet thing has clicked - finally! We just won't mention those bad days when the wee fairy still leaves puddles on the floor, as mostly she doesn't hang for too long. They choose their own names each day -they were Nemo and Bindi for a long time but are now most definitely Tinkerbell and Cinderella. They are beginning to move away from it being just us and them and into the wider world, staying on their own at Nanny's and becoming more social and less freaked out by loud noises and other children. They will happily play together for hours on end, fighting and loving each other along the way. They are the same in different ways and different in the same ways and they are inseparable.

The first months after Muski was born were a bit rough. The Baldy boy was sick, then Zoe had a stint in hospital while Izzy was sick and heart broken without her. I couldn't remember what day of the week it was, let alone if I had fed any one in the last 6 hours and it felt a little like all the changes were getting the better of us. We struggled on and worked on that 'going with the flow' thing to the point where I think we are much better at it now. Even Zoe knocking her front three teeth out in mid October, requiring surgery to have them removed, didn't throw us too much of course.

The Baldy Boy has worked hard this year, trying to balance work and family and farm. There are many things we would have like to have achieved here at the pickle farm that just didn't happen, but, looking back there are so many things we have done that we are proud of. The orchard and veggie garden are now fenced with a gorgeous rustic handmade fence and are both growing well. The Baldy Boy has also stepped up for his family, taking on so many roles that were once his fathers, which makes me feel incredibly lucky to love such a wonderful person.

We welcomed new friends for all of us and let old ones move on, even when we didn't want them to. We missed friends who live far away, but are reminded often that it doesn't matter how far they are, they are still part of our lives. We welcomed new babies who have arrived and the news of new babies who are yet to arrive and we were sad to say goodbye to other babies who were not to be. We spent time with family and shared some really special things with special people.

I've had the pleasure to work under Annette over at PBP and watch the site (and Annette herself) blossom into a truly wonderful and professional place of business but most of all fun. I've learnt a lot and enjoyed playing with graphic design and where it has taken me this year and I have some plans and goals of where I'd like to head with it next year. And, of course, this blog has just grown and grown - it started as a way to talk digi scrapping and has become so much more and big plans for the blog in the very near future have me just a little excited!

Now here we are at the end the year. I hope that if 2007 has taught me anything at all it is that change and growth is a good thing, to embrace it, go with the flow, and move forward.... this is what I need to remember as I face the start of the new year and letting go of my girls a little more as I watch them step off and start kinder (preschool) in a few weeks time. The first of many changes and challenges I am sure.

So goodbye 2007 'The Year of Change' and hello 2008 - I hereby dub thee - 'The Year of Organisation'. Bring it on!

A few of the lay-outs that went into the Christmas presents this year. We made albums and calendars - any family members reading this who did not receive a calendar and who would like one I can order extras for you, email me and I will let you know details!

Everything I used for these is from the wonderful Tracy-Ann over at TADA